iHi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well this last Sunday in June.  Gorgeous day here in Plymouth with a clear blue sky.  I am sitting listening to 50s and 60s hits on the satellite and remembering the fun, happy times of dancing in the kitchen with my mom.   Some times when I visit my mom I pull up this music on my phone and she taps her foot and and even sings some of the words.  

It was a busy week for me as I took one day to fly to Virginia to get some business done.  I will say I spent more time in airports than I actually did visiting any one.  I had lunch with a few friends at my favorite restaurant though so all-in-all it was a good day.  I did have a bit of guilt in not being able to touch base with so many others, but I know they understand.  I must admit it felt weird going home that day, it felt like another world in many ways.  I have a tendency to compartmentalize my life as a way for me to continue to function properly.  When I was going back and forth every other month it made it easier.  Have you felt this way?   

Of course, being at the airport so long gave me plenty of opportunities to observe and study people (as well as read).  I find life at airports so fascinating.  I can make such good stories up in my head about people and their lives.  For many, I can almost see the weight of the world on their shoulders as they trudge through.  I will never know how people travel with small kids - I don't think I could have ever kept up.  I always feel bad for many of the workers as they try to do their jobs and maintain good customer service.  Again, not sure I could do that all day and deal with the people.  I meet people all the time that either give positive energy or suck the energy out of everything and you can guess which ones are more exhausting.  I definitely want to be around those that give positive energy.  How about you?

My mom is pretty stable at the moment - which is a good thing.  My dad is as well although he is really on this camping kick.  He told me this morning to call and make reservations for July and to get all the details.  As many of you know, I don't tent camp.  He fully expects to go by himself or have my brother-in-law (who works) or nephew pop in.   I'm a bit nervous about this whole thing....how do you explain that to a stubborn 82 year old who is legally blind and almost completely deaf!   He told me he needs to get his fishing rods restrung so I need to get moving on that too.  He won't listen and I realize he needs a getaway and wants to feel independent, but still......stay tuned for updates.

Funny story from the week.  There is a man at the nursing home that is 86 years old.  He firmly believes he is only about 60.  When I ask him when he was born he says 1930.  I then explain what year it is and we figure it out that he's 86...he still says no way!  Then he asks how old I am and I say 58.  He says NO WAY!  With all that white hair you have to be older than that...you can not be younger than me!  We all have a good laugh and move on to another subject.  Yesterday, he caught a glimpse of the phone I clip to my pocket.  I heard him tell his wife, "she's carrying, she has a gun!"  His wife responded no she does not, what are you talking about?  I heard him convinced that I had a gun and I was going to shoot him.  I walked over and said I do not have a gun.  I took out my phone and showed him the Otter box.  He said OH that's a phone.  I said yes, I have this on the outside because I'm such a klutz and I don't want to drop it.  He and his wife laughed.   This same man has been convinced over the past few weeks that the food and drink are full of poison and tries to dissuade everyone from eating and drinking.  I am constantly fascinated by what comes out his mouth as well as others.  Besides the history lessons that I learn from them all of these other thoughts are just fascinating.  

I finished three books this week.  Love, murder and mayhem were the themes, but they were good.  I finished James Patterson, JD Robb and Nora Roberts.  I'm now reading a thriller by an author I had not heard of previously.  I ordered a bunch of books as I have not been able to get to the bookstore..no worries I still have another list I'm saving for when I do get to the bookstore. What are you reading for the summer?  

I found out yesterday that three of the CNAs have been accepted into nursing school.  Another one is on the waiting list for fall. Believe it or not I wrote three of them reference letters (one did not ask or I would have).  I understand it's helpful to have letters from family members which I did not know when I wrote them.  I told them I must see something in you and know about how you care or I would not have written such in-depth references.  So proud of them.  

I'm going to leave it here for today.  I have some other items I'm thinking about for future blogs so if you have anything you would like me to discuss, just let me know.  I hope you have a wonderful week.  Take care. Chat soon.  Marie

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."  - Harriet Beecher Stowe

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy

"Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." - Nido Qubein

Referrals are always appreciated.

Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well and Happy Father's Day!  I am looking out the window at a fantastic evening.  The sun is setting and the wind is blowing.  I had a great day with papa and my sister's family.  I cooked two kinds of ribs and doctored up baked beans (papa thinks I made them from scratch and used his guidance).  Even the dogs are exhausted as they played all day.  I saw lots of great pictures of FB of father's and it was so wonderful to see.  Gorgeous weather here so the windows and doors have been open for days.

It was a sad week for many with the mass shootings and hatred that seem to be coming out of everywhere.  I am probably one of the few that did not put anything on FB as I tried to digest my feelings of sadness and worry about the world.   I actually tried to ignore many of the stories about the gunman himself and focused on the heroes of the situation or the people that were murdered and their lives. I know I was numb for part of the week as I tried to imagine so much hatred.  I just can't believe one person could cause so much horribleness.   I will not use this forum for a gun control discussion at all.  I have my pros and cons and my beliefs and do not feel it necessary to share them.  I was trained many years ago to carry and shoot because I was working in a war zone situation.  I hated carrying a weapon all of the time although I understood the necessity.  Could I have killed someone if it was a life/death situation?  Honestly, I don't know.  Simulations are one thing, real life is another thing.  I remember on more than one occasion at work it's a good thing I don't have a weapon, but it was more of a joke in the moment.   I truly can not imagine having that much hatred for someone else or others as a whole.  Believe me I am not a saint and have been through some traumas of my own, but I learned to forgive for many reasons and mostly my own sanity.  

I have also been soul searching this week about words and how they can truly hurt someone.  Some times in moments of emotional distress we spout out words that we don't mean, but they can really hurt others.  When I was younger I was EXTREMELY sarcastic and never realized how some of my sarcasm really hurt others.  When I had that epiphany I was devastated in many ways and offered some sincere apologies. I also got to understand how my sarcasm was a way to cover up some of my own fears and vulnerabilities.  I have worked hard at not being sarcastic or if I am to not hurt others.  I bring this up as my mother/mema called me a few names this past week and although I know it's the disease talking it still hurt a little.  Also, many of the patients at the nursing home do not have filters any longer so some of the language gets a bit rough some days.  You have to have thick skin to be around some of these patients.  Some of the patients say, well I'm being honest as they don't realize they are actually hurting someone else.  Some of the younger workers get offended sometimes and try to correct the behaviors, but it's hard to not take it personally and I talk to the staff daily about it.  Again, not to be political, but I can't stand the words coming out of the mouths of politicians.  I feel such anger and animosity coming out of their mouths.  I am sick of the BS when it comes to politics - stop spreading hatred!  

To change subjects....I had an energy massage this week.  OMG!  I have never had that type of experience.  One massage therapist and one energy healer...what an experience!  Stones were places and they literally popped off.  I did not go to sleep at all, but felt fantastic when it was done.   I was told my energy is huge - like standing at the edge of the ocean and seeing forever.  I said that's funny as I go to the water almost every day and just look out.  As I was on the table the energy person asked me if I have visions?  I said no, but sometimes my mom called me a witch as I would do or say something and then something else would happen.  She said, "you have visions!"  I was also told the message from my angel was:  To wait for the miracle to happen."  I'm not sure what that means, but I've tried to take a step back and see what happens.  I enjoyed it so much I'm going back in July!  Have you ever had this type of experience?  

I finished reading:  "ALL FALL DOWN" by Jennier Weiner.  It's about a woman who gets hooked on prescription medicines and how it impacts her life.  It's an interesting story and so relates to everything I have been watching on TV about opioid addiction.  I also read through several magazines and caught up on several newspapers.   At the nursing home and coffee shop they are always laughing at me as I have a book or something to read every day.  What are you reading?  I have lists and lists that I am more than willing to add to if you have any suggestions.

A belated Happy Birthday to my friend Diane!  I hope she had a fantastic day celebrating this past week.

I am going to leave it here for tonight. I hope you have a great week.  Please let me know if there is ever a topic that you would like me to discuss and I'll see what I can do.  Take care.  Chat soon.   Marie

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy

"It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure." - Joseph Campbell
 
Referrals are always appreciated.  

Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well.   I am sitting in Plymouth with the windows and doors open looking at a clear blue sky.  The wind is blowing today and the front door has already slammed shut once so we'll see how long it stays open this time.  It is supposed to be about 80 and you can feel the humidity a bit so this afternoon the a/c will more than likely be turned on for a bit.  

The town of Plymouth has a marathon going on this morning.  I have to say, I am not sure who set up the course, but it's crazy as they did not stop the traffic.  So here are these hot participants running on the sides of the roads or trying to cross the road while cars (including myself) drive by them at slow speeds.  I felt horrible when I had to pull over a bit because a siren blaring fire engine was coming down behind us.  I think the planners may have to re-think for next year.  It was fun to see the supporters with their noisemakers and signs (I was silently cheering for those that I could see were definitely tired at mile 9).    I was definitely nostalgic and felt tears in my eyes as I drove by them, although I have not run a marathon I have walked two half marathons.  I could feel their exhaustion from the run and the heat (especially the heat).  I did see a water station and I do hope there are a lot more as they need it today.  I hope they are proud of themselves and their accomplishments.  I know how I felt when I was done.  

I had the most wonderful text message last night from a friend.  She wrote me about how her son told his girlfriend about me.  I have known him since he was a baby and he moved away from the area many years ago.  We have always kept in touch and I am a big fan of his.  I don't get to see him as often I would like.  Don't get me wrong he is not perfect and as you know neither am I.  He knows when I am disappointed in his actions or behaviors.  He also understands that I love him any way, I don't have to like what he's doing, but that does not stop my love.   I have tried to provide support (not monetary, but emotionally, spiritually, morally, etc.).  I was in awe last night to think of the way I may have impacted his life although I am not in it physically all the time.   What an awesome learning experience for me.  I always try to think about the impact we have on others, but that was a lesson that was a long time coming and I still learn something every day.   Have you thought about you impact others?  Has any one ever taken a moment to let you know?  Have you taken a moment to tell someone else?  I am going to work more at that.  

I was in church this morning and my mind was wandering as it does on occasion.  Thoughts in my head this morning centered on my faith and spirituality, but how I don't always want to be sitting in mass.  I have visited and prayed at many facilities of my faith and others in many places in the world and I always feel connected.  As I've said before I believe I can pray and talk to God any where.  I actually sat in church this morning thinking:  how many of us are here out of obligation and how many are here because we are really feeling it?  I can't answer that question of course and I'm not sure why it popped into my head this morning.  Any way, just something to think about.  

My mom/mema had a fairly good week which means my dad/papa had a good week.  I had a decent week at the nursing home.  I only truly went off one night over the food being served and I guess I got everyone running because the manager of the kitchen showed up to talk with me.  I really laid it out as professionally as I could without sinking down to the cursing level.  Oh how I wanted to get down and dirty with my language, but I held it together.  I even mouthed off a little at the two nurses who were not doing much to help any one that night.  I did apologize to the same nurse the next day and said it's not personal.  I have told the staff when I start getting angry it is not personal, it is that I'm upset that they are not being professional or something is not going right.  I have told them if I was really angry at them personally, I would not be writing recommendations for nursing school or providing gifts of appreciation with food.   I do appreciate all they have to put up with between the patients and families involved.  I told a CNA last evening that she needs to teach her methods to others.  She is so good handling this one patient that the patient never gets upset or yells out as she does with the others.   The CNA was surprised that I noticed, but I said you have a gift and I wish others would learn from it.

I published a few OLD pictures on FB this past week and they brought back so many memories for me.  It was good to publish some pictures to people of their family that perhaps they have not seen.  I showed a picture of me from 1976 and joked about the red hair I had.  Wait until next week as I have a couple of different ones.  I have to say what I love about FB is the ability to connect with some people that I have not connected with in a while.  It still scares me a bit, but I have been having fun.

I am going to leave it here for today.  I need to get a few things going here.  I hope you have a good week.  Take care.  Chat soon.  

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." - Robert H. Schuller

"Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." - Charles R. Swindoll

Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well on this first weekend of June.  The weather here in Plymouth is heavy clouds with periods of rain.  We need the rain though so we can truly appreciate the sunny days.  As I drove home after dropping papa off I kept thinking what will I write today, what point do I want to make today?  As I have mentioned in the past, sometimes thoughts just pop into my head, sometimes I go to my topics list and sometimes I have planned out parts of the blog.  Today may be a mixture of all three - hopefully you won't know the difference.  This is my second attempt at the blog this morning as somehow I lost the connection and had not saved.

​I wanted to bring up the subject of loneliness this week.  I have been feeling a bit lonely and I tried to figure out why.  Don't get me wrong I truly appreciate my alone time as I sometimes need the downtime to recharge. I so appreciate the time I'm spending with mema and papa, but I so miss my friends and their in-person support.  After spending a great day yesterday with a family that I have been friends with for 40 years, celebrating high school graduations, I realize I miss being around the fun. I did not even mind the long commute each way.  I do a lot of things on my own and I don't mind, but there are some things I would rather do with other people and share the experience.  For example:  local music venues, art shows, exploring, etc.  I spend a lot of time at the nursing home, which is an experience in itself.  It's not like I can hang out with the staff outside of the nursing home as I think that might be crossing a line for some of them - also for most of them I could be their mother if not grandmother.  I have to investigate the happenings around town as there are lots of things that go on in the summer and just go.  I can't go home first as I won't go out again.  Please do not think I'm depressed, if I did not understand the cause of my loneliness then I could go into a depression.  Understanding that I'm lonely means now I can do something about it.  How about you?  Do you reach out when you need to be with others?  

I am sharing a story from the past week...so proud of myself for acting like an adult when I wanted to be the petulant child and throw a tantrum.   I remember in an old Lethal Weapon movie when the Joe Pesci character went on and on about how they "F" you at the drive-thru.  OK I can see you smirking!  I went to Dunk's the other day, pulled right up to the drive thru and ordered a large iced coffee with extra cream and three Splenda (I like it sweet in the afternoon as their coffee can be a bit strong).  Pretty simple and it was repeated back to me exactly.  I pulled up to the window and the clerk says skim milk?  I said no, "extra cream/three Splenda."  She said oh, sugar?  I said, "no, extra cream/three Splenda."  I remember thinking to myself wow did not realize my order was that hard.  In the meantime, she is repeating my order to someone else.  Next thing I know she hands me a large HOT coffee.  I looked at her and said what is this I ordered iced coffee.  She said no you did not you have to say iced.  I said I did say iced, but ok I'll take this.  She looked at me and said, well I only charged you for hot.  I said, fine I'm pulling away now.   In truth, I could picture myself throwing the coffee at this girl!  I mean flashed before my eyes and I could see it happening.  I think I was pretty good in that I never yelled and I did pull away!   Part of me thought lawsuit if you throw the coffee!  And I asked myself, am I tired?  Tired and cranky run in the same circle for me.  I remember thinking after I have to write this in the blog.  Hope I made you laugh!  What would you have done?  

I had a discussion this past week wih a young man who is a CNA in the nursing home.  He is very wise and you can see that he so cares about the patients.  He recently lost his grandmother so he was away for a few days.  He talked about how at peace she was and how he believes she had learned and taught everything she needed to so she was ready for her time.  He indicated that in the past several months most of the family had seen his grandmother and said everything that needed to be said.  I could tell he looked at her passing as a joyous ending to her life.  I thought to myself this man is so wise beyond his years.  When I watch him work, I see the respect he has for his elders and how he listens to them.  There is so much to learn if people would take the time to listen.  This discussion so resonated with me as I recently had another discussion surrounding the same topic.  What do you think?   

A big shout out to my parents (although neither read my blog).  On 8 June 1957 they were married in South Boston.  They had some of their pictures taken at the Franklin Park Rose Garden and although the pictures are all in black and white you can see the roses.  Although mema may not remember the exact date, she still knows papa and that he is her husband.   I am taking out the wedding album which is about 10 inches thick and is very heavy to bring a few pictures in for her to see.  Of course, I want to check it out as it's been a few years since I've perused the old album.

I am going to leave it here for today.  I'm putting dinner together for papa and the kids are coming so we should have a few laughs.  I wonder if I should tell them to bring in dessert...LOL!! 

Have a good week.  Take care.  Chat soon.  Marie

"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." -  Buddha

"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have." -  Norman Vincent Peale

"We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength." -  Charles Stanley