Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well today.  Spring has sprung in Plymouth, what a week of beautiful weather - chilly mornings and warm afternoons.  The trees are budding and the forsythia are blooming to let me know that life is moving forward.    Thank you so much to those of you that reached out after my postings last week.  I was certainly on a roll emotionally and your support so helped.  

Well my week ended with me in better spirit than I felt at the beginning of the week.  Once I documented my concerns and issues with the nursing home and had a face-to-face discussion with the nursing supervisor I felt a little better.  Of course, that does not mean that all the problems have been resolved, it just means I was able to put everything in perspective.   There will always be some type of issue as there is no perfection, but as I have been trained to do; when in doubt document the heck out of it and be sure it's captured accurately.    Also, thank goodness for cameras, as pictures work wonders to capture data.  There will be more documentation presented this week, but I'm definitely not in the emotional hole I was in last week.  I was joking yesterday that my next career will be ADVOCATE.  Advocate for who I'm not sure, but I'm good at going to bat for those that need it.

Papa is feeling better this week than he was last week.  Turns out his blood pressure is bottoming out so he's off that medication.  Now to get his sugar back under control.  He tells the nurse one thing, blames me for others and then when I call him out, he just grins like a small boy.  No wonder he got away with a lot of stuff when he was young.   I said to him on the way to church, did you eat something? He said, no I was going to, but I fell asleep watching tv.  He said to me, if I get woozy in church this morning I'm just going to start watching mass on TV.  I said, it's up to you, but you are allowed to sit down when others are standing, you don't have to stand the whole time.  I said others are sitting so you can too.  He said, they have changed the mass too much and now there is too much standing since they don't kneel any longer.  Truly, it depends on the church, as this church is newer it does not have pews and kneelers so everyone stands.  He brought a small bottle of water with him just in case.  He did fine this morning.  

I finished reading:  "CHASING BUTTERFLIES" by Charles Martin.  It's a novel about discovery with very interesting characters.  It's a wonderful story about life and how the secrets of the past impact the present.  
I also finished "YOU ARE A BADASS"  by Jen Sincero.  A self-help book for people who want to improve their lives.  Plainly written with some good steps for identifying the self-sabotaging behaviors and moving forward.  I'm passing this on to some young ladies who will hopefully see themselves the way I do as they move into the future.  

I have to admit I wasted two hours last night and watched Magic Mike XXL on HBO. Yes, I admit the bodies were nice to look at, but when it was over, I actually said out loud - that's two hours I can't get back.  Oh well, guess I needed to relax.  

I started a little spring cleaning as I reviewed a drawer or two of papers.  I'm always amazed at what I find whether it be old jewelry (unworn), dried out socks, old bills (shredding time), or pictures.  It's memories upon memories with some of these items.  Sometimes, questions just pop into my head about the items.  We'll see how far I get with the cleaning.    

My heart goes out to my friends Kim and Fran. They both lost a very important man in their lives.  One lost a father and the other a husband as he passed on suddenly the other day.  I am with them in spirit and there for them if they need me.  I can't be there in person, but they know I'm sending love.  

I am going to end it here today.  Need to check on Lady (she was ill during the night) and take her for a walk.  Then perhaps a trip to the waterfront.  I hope you have a good week.  Take care.  Chat soon.  Marie

I just found the following and thought I would provide to you...so meaningful. 

31 Affirmations That Can Transform Your Life by Sylvia Mordini
1. I am ready for change.
2. I love and accept myself exactly as I am.
3. I attract amazing people.
4. I always deserve love.
5. I am grounded in acceptance.
6. Others love me easily and joyfully.
7. People are just waiting to love me, and I allow them.
8. I am radiating love.
9. I am happy in my own skin.
10. I express love to all those I meet.
11. I bathe in unconditional love.
12. Love radiates from me at all times.
13. I love myself completely.
14. Love comes to me easily and effortlessly.
15. I give and receive love easily and joyfully.
16. I create my reality.
17. I trust myself.
18. I compare myself only to my highest self.
19. I now feel loved and appreciated by my parents, my friends.
20. I express love freely.
21. As I give love, I am instantly supplied with more.
22. I radiate love to all persons and places and things.
23. I breathe in universal love.
24. I am open to receiving love.
25. I am a radiant being filled with light and love.
26. I know my wisdom guides me to the right decision.
27. I attract loving people and relationships into my life.
28. I project love to everyone I meet.
29. Happiness is a choice.
30. I love and approve of myself.
31. The past has no power over me anymore.

Referrals are always appreciated.  

Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well this Patriot's Day.  Patriot's Day is only celebrated in Massachusetts (State Holiday) and in particular Boston where everyone focused on the Marathon.  Gorgeous day here - probably a bit warm for the runners, but for all of us that are waiting for spring...thank goodness!

As I mentioned in my previous post I've been having a very emotional few days.  Although I try to put it aside and focus on the present the emotions sneak up on me unexpectedly.   Just show me a sad commercial or TV show and I'm a mess.  Yesterday, I tried to put a good face on although I spent much of the day worried.  My dad did not feel good yesterday and was very woozy at church.  You know he's not feeling well when he does not visit mema (sent me instead).   He has a couple of appointments with doctors this week so perhaps they'll figure it out.   

My nephew said something to me yesterday that resonated in my brain today as it really bothered me.  We were sitting in the living room relaxing for a few minutes when he said to me, "auntie is this all you do?"  I said, "what do you mean sit here on the couch relaxing?  He said in all honesty, "yes".  I was devastated that he would think that's all I do.  He so hurt my feelings and does not even know he did.  I don't even remember how I responded to his question.   But all day today his question was in my head as  kept thinking is that what everyone thinks - that I sit on the couch and do nothing?   I admit I am not a caregiver per se, but there are days when I feel that way.  I know I'm not holding down a job at the moment, but I'm trying to keep things moving forward for papa and mema.  I deal with the administrators and staff at the nursing home and try to keep things in order for papa.  But I guess someone could think I do nothing.  

I won't say I'm not frustrated by many things today, but this too shall pass.  I know life goes on for everyone, but some times it's damn frustrating.  I also can tell I'm frustrated because the dialogue in my head would make a sailor blush.  Every curse word I have ever known is floating around and I have to fight to keep my language clean when talking.  At least some of the anger has subsided.  I know it's important to stay calm (or as I would say professional).   

Oh well, enough whining for today.  I am grateful for my life and I learn something new every day about myself and others.  I hope to use what I learn when I coach others.  I hope as I put this out there via the blog, that I'm also helping others as they struggle with issues of life.   Take care.  Have a good week.  Chat soon.  Marie

“He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.” —Japanese proverb

Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well and you had a good week.  I decided to write tonight for a couple of reasons one because it was a tough day and I wanted to get it out and two tomorrow will be a busy day.   I'm not sure where spring is as it's been in the 40s all week and windy as heck.  I had decorated around the yard with pinwheels several weeks ago - as of today there is nothing left.  Hopefully, your spring decorations are still around.  

Overall, the week went well.  My BFF left at the beginning of the week and it was so great that she was here and we had a good time.  Mema appeared very settled.  She rested a lot as expected.  She eats what she wants and as long as she is satisfied that's all that matters.  When she becomes a bit fidgety it's normally for a reason and we work to determine the reason to keep her calm.  I can see where her memories are a bit less and her thoughts are random.  I think she likes the visiting pattern of papa in the morning and me in the mid-to-late afternoon.  

For those of you that know me I am usually the strong one and keep up a good front.  Today was a total meltdown day for me.  I had a loud and as they say "ugly" cry.   At first, I literally thought it's me having a bad day as I felt a bit tired and then anger kicked in.  As I've mentioned before I feel like a mama bear when it comes to taking care of mema so when things are not going right at the nursing home I get angry.  I have not broken down and cried before and I definitely did that today.  I tried to hide it from mema, as she asked me what's wrong and looked in my eyes.  I told her I had a cold and then bolted out the door and finished the cry in the car.  I try not to make a scene as to not embarrass my family and I want any discussions to be productive.  Luckily, papa could not tell that anything was wrong with me.  I gave myself a headache time for some aspirin.  Thankfully, there is no wine or booze in the house or I might have a worse headache.  I have a bunch of notes from today and will be with management on Monday.   

Perhaps it was time for the big ugly cry any way.  I am a bit tired which never helps.  It's funny that the other evening papa looked at me and said, do you want to take a vacation?  I said, what made you say that?  He said, well you've been here since February.  I said, I know that, but I told you I would be here for the duration.  But then, I started thinking about it.  So now I've scheduled a quickie vacation an hour away in Provincetown for a couple of days in early May.   I have to say that once I booked the vacation the guilt of not being here kicked in.  I have to work on that a bit.   What do you do when guilt kicks in?

I am trying to catch up on some TV..thank goodness for DVRs.  I recorded, Strong, American Grit, Game of Silence and Underground.  As well as my normal dramas.  Do you think my tastes are all over the place?    

I finished reading:  "BACK IN THE FIGHT" by Sergeant First Class Joseph Kapacziewski and Charles W. Sasser.  This is the memoir of an Army Ranger who even after having his leg amputated is determined to remain a Ranger.  Wow what a book!   I am also reading two other books hopefully will finish both this week.

Please know that I appreciate your calls, notes, texts, etc.  I don't always respond as sometimes I'm just too tired to chat.  I think about all of you and I am so grateful for your support.  Hugs to all of you.  

I am going to end it here for tonight.  I think I need a Klondike bar...LOL!  Have a good week.  Take care.  Chat soon.  Marie

"Unity is strength... when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved." -  Mattie Stepanek

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." -  Mahatma Gandhi

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." -  Mother Teresa

HI Everyone!  Hope this finds you well today and you had a good week.  It's a beautiful Sunday here in Plymouth, but still a bit chilly.  We even had the threat of snow yesterday - not sure where spring is, but I'm sure it's coming as the days are longer and the flowers are slowly coming up.  The kids gave mema and I lily plants for Easter and this past week all the blooms popped...so pretty.

I had a little break this past week as my BFF Patti came to visit.  I changed up my routine a little and we got to have some fun.  I showed her some of my favorite haunts for eating or chilling.  We also went with my sister's family to Wahlburger's as a special treat.  None of us had been and to be honest I expected just touristy stuff and bad food, I was truly surprised at how good the food tasted.   If we wanted to stick around in the cold, it appeared that cameras were setting up to film part of the TV show.  The staff had indicated they filmed earlier that day.  Patti got a little extra tour as I got lost on the way to the restaurant and we ended up at Nantasket Beach which is where many of us from Dorchester went during the summer as a special treat.   In the old days, it was an amusement park, arcade, food stands and of course, the beach.  Now it's condos and the amusement park closed years ago.  Perhaps getting lost was meant to be as it triggered some old memories.  

My niece Melanie made her Confirmation on Thursday.  For those of you that do not know what Confirmation means:  "Confirmation is one of the seven sacraments through which Catholics pass in the process of their religious upbringing. According to Catholic doctrine, in this sacrament they are sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit and are strengthened in their Christian life."  When I was young, confirmation was completed in about 8th grade around 12/13.  Now confirmation is made in 10th grade and in general the kids are 16.  I believe the age was changed to have the teens more involved in the development of their faith.  They are asked (but not forced) to be part of a mission venture either in the town or some travel to other areas.   I teared up a couple of times as I thought about my parents not attending as their health did not allow.  The teens did a good job on their part of the process.  

Mema had a good week overall.  I think this new schedule of papa visiting in the morning and me in the afternoon is working for her.  When I'm there between lunch and dinner, she can rest and chat when she feels like it.  She snacks and then keeps an eye out for things happening around her.  I love the way her face lights up when she recognizes someone.  She may not put a name with the face, but she knows instinctively she knows the person.  Papa said when he wheels her around the building people come out from all over and give her hugs/kisses.  He always says I can't believe how many people know your mother!  

I forgot to mention last week that when we got snow, one of the other residents who, in general, has a great outlook on life said, "snow is the poor man's fertilizer so it will help the ground."  I thought how prophetic a saying from this woman who has Alzheimer's and other health issues.  If you go in and say it's cold, she will say, it will be warm soon.    She almost always has a smile.  

I watched "The Story of God With Morgan Freeman" last week.  It's a multiple episode show on National Geographic.  Very interesting show that explores different religions and their practices.   

The funny part about having company this past week has been Lady's reaction.  At night, she is just not sure where she should sleep.  I am in the den, but leave the door open in case she wants to come in.  I  moved her bed to the hall outside the den so she can sleep there if she wants.  Some nights I hear her wandering the house or moving from chair-to-chair.  Patti just laughs at how Lady shadows me as soon as I move.  

I have to say there are two commercials on TV right now that just make me smile or laugh out loud.  I can't say that about many ads as sometimes I'm not even sure what they are selling.   1.  Zyrtec when the woman sneezes and plants her forehead in an ice cream cone.  I can just see that happening and it makes me laugh.  2.  Siri with the cookie monster.  I just laugh every time about him wanting time to go fast so he can eat the cookies.  How many of us want time to fly?  

I did not finish any books this past week as I just did not have time.  What are you reading?  I keep jotting down names of books on different pieces of paper just to see if I check them out will I want to read.  I'm thinking about a trip to the bookstore over the next couple of weeks so any ideas?  

Patti is in the kitchen baking cookies, brownies and cakes.  She is leaving us tomorrow with treats that will be shared with the nursing home.  Of course, the kids will be here later so who knows what will be left...LOL!  I'm going to leave it here for today.  I hope you have a good week.  Take care of yourself and others.  Chat soon.  Marie

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." Confucius

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."  George Bernard Shaw

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."  Albert Camus

Hi Everyone.  Hope this finds you well this first Sunday in April.  I woke this morning to snow here in Plymouth.  It was wet and heavy.  While in church it looked like a blizzard out the windows behind the alter.  Who would believe tomorrow is opening day for the Red Sox.   Of course, now the sun the trying to break through and the wind is picking up again.  I hope where you are the weather is a little more like spring (including the temperatures).  

I had a busy week as I'm sure you did as well.  I know some schools were on break although not here in New England except for colleges/universities.  Most schools here do not take a break until mid April around Patriots Day.   I saw postings on FB as friends went on college visits with their children or were accepted to the school of their choice.   I can't imagine what emotions come up for parents as they go through this process.    

This past week we had a schedule change for visits with mema.  I drop papa off in the morning and then pick him up early afternoon.   We have lunch/dinner together and then I go spend time with mema.  I try to ensure she eats some dinner and is in good spirits before bed.  The one thing I have done all of these months is try to avoid visiting in the late afternoons as I know for the majority of residents, including my mom, sundowners kicks in and they act up.  I did have a couple of rough days where I had to speak to the staff and let them know what I was observing as a family member (this not only pertains to my mom, but for the many that have no one speaking up for them).    Highly emotional week without a lot of sleep. At the beginning of the week mema was found on the floor with her sugar almost bottomed out.  Papa does not know any of this as I did sneak out to check on her a couple of times.  I run a fine line in trying to protect everyone involved.  

I am trying to take a few minutes every day for me.  Some ideas:  sit by the harbor, nice cup of coffee, meeting people, people watching, and getting grocery shopping done.  This past week I did all of these and I enjoyed every minute...ok perhaps not the grocery shopping...LOL!  I have cooked a few meals so I can keep papa and myself on the straight and narrow.  

This past week I finished reading:  "THE ISLAND OF WORTHY BOYS" by Connie Hertzberg Mayo.  This is her first novel.   The book was recommended by the staff at the bookstore I ventured into a couple of weeks ago.   This book takes place in the late 1800s/early 1900s and is about the Boston Farm School which was on an Island in Boston Harbor.   Some of the story is based on historical information found regarding the all male private school.  They did not accept boys with any sort of criminal record only that were orphaned or extremely poor.  Book is very well written.  Not sure what's next for me to read as I'm catching up on magazines and newspapers.  Just might need to take a trip to the book store...LOL!  

I am going to leave it here for today.   I am preparing Sunday dinner for the family and need to get the rest going.  I hope you have a good week.  I am excited as my BFF is visiting in a few days so I will goof off a little.   Take care.  Chat soon.  Marie

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.”– Josiah Gilbert Holland

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”– William James

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.”– Oliver Wendell Holmes