I wanted to bring up the subject of loneliness this week. I have been feeling a bit lonely and I tried to figure out why. Don't get me wrong I truly appreciate my alone time as I sometimes need the downtime to recharge. I so appreciate the time I'm spending with mema and papa, but I so miss my friends and their in-person support. After spending a great day yesterday with a family that I have been friends with for 40 years, celebrating high school graduations, I realize I miss being around the fun. I did not even mind the long commute each way. I do a lot of things on my own and I don't mind, but there are some things I would rather do with other people and share the experience. For example: local music venues, art shows, exploring, etc. I spend a lot of time at the nursing home, which is an experience in itself. It's not like I can hang out with the staff outside of the nursing home as I think that might be crossing a line for some of them - also for most of them I could be their mother if not grandmother. I have to investigate the happenings around town as there are lots of things that go on in the summer and just go. I can't go home first as I won't go out again. Please do not think I'm depressed, if I did not understand the cause of my loneliness then I could go into a depression. Understanding that I'm lonely means now I can do something about it. How about you? Do you reach out when you need to be with others?
I am sharing a story from the past week...so proud of myself for acting like an adult when I wanted to be the petulant child and throw a tantrum. I remember in an old Lethal Weapon movie when the Joe Pesci character went on and on about how they "F" you at the drive-thru. OK I can see you smirking! I went to Dunk's the other day, pulled right up to the drive thru and ordered a large iced coffee with extra cream and three Splenda (I like it sweet in the afternoon as their coffee can be a bit strong). Pretty simple and it was repeated back to me exactly. I pulled up to the window and the clerk says skim milk? I said no, "extra cream/three Splenda." She said oh, sugar? I said, "no, extra cream/three Splenda." I remember thinking to myself wow did not realize my order was that hard. In the meantime, she is repeating my order to someone else. Next thing I know she hands me a large HOT coffee. I looked at her and said what is this I ordered iced coffee. She said no you did not you have to say iced. I said I did say iced, but ok I'll take this. She looked at me and said, well I only charged you for hot. I said, fine I'm pulling away now. In truth, I could picture myself throwing the coffee at this girl! I mean flashed before my eyes and I could see it happening. I think I was pretty good in that I never yelled and I did pull away! Part of me thought lawsuit if you throw the coffee! And I asked myself, am I tired? Tired and cranky run in the same circle for me. I remember thinking after I have to write this in the blog. Hope I made you laugh! What would you have done?
I had a discussion this past week wih a young man who is a CNA in the nursing home. He is very wise and you can see that he so cares about the patients. He recently lost his grandmother so he was away for a few days. He talked about how at peace she was and how he believes she had learned and taught everything she needed to so she was ready for her time. He indicated that in the past several months most of the family had seen his grandmother and said everything that needed to be said. I could tell he looked at her passing as a joyous ending to her life. I thought to myself this man is so wise beyond his years. When I watch him work, I see the respect he has for his elders and how he listens to them. There is so much to learn if people would take the time to listen. This discussion so resonated with me as I recently had another discussion surrounding the same topic. What do you think?
A big shout out to my parents (although neither read my blog). On 8 June 1957 they were married in South Boston. They had some of their pictures taken at the Franklin Park Rose Garden and although the pictures are all in black and white you can see the roses. Although mema may not remember the exact date, she still knows papa and that he is her husband. I am taking out the wedding album which is about 10 inches thick and is very heavy to bring a few pictures in for her to see. Of course, I want to check it out as it's been a few years since I've perused the old album.
I am going to leave it here for today. I'm putting dinner together for papa and the kids are coming so we should have a few laughs. I wonder if I should tell them to bring in dessert...LOL!!
Have a good week. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
"No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." - Buddha
"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have." - Norman Vincent Peale
"We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength." - Charles Stanley