Overall, it's been a tough week. I did not mention my last blog that I was a little sad as for the first time neither of my parents acknowledged my birthday. I did not expect mema to remember as some days she is not sure who I am, but I definitely expected some type of expression from papa. I traveled on my birthday, itself, so I thought he would say something the night before, but nothing. The only reason he knew at all was because someone reminded him after the fact (not me). When I returned he said something, but by then I was over the initial sadness. As I remind myself every day, I am blessed to be 59 and still have my parents at all.
My week went downhill from there as I returned to lots of stress and drama at the nursing home. My mama bear came out several times and I was left with a killer headache and no neck. Does not matter what the problem was, but I did my best to handle it politely and strongly. Thank goodness I did not let my temper take control because it would have been very ugly. I did pull together documentation (I'm good at this) and sent to the social worker so she knows what's happening. My opinion of her is not high at the moment so hopefully she can help change my first impression.
Of course, papa does not know how stressful the week was and I won't tell him. I tried not to be short with him. I am learning with papa to just go along with whatever he wants. Makes my life a bit easier - I may not want to do something, but if papa wants to, I just go along. I won't say I'm not exhausted, but better to have a happy papa than a rested me. He does not realize that I've stopped cooking as I am so tired of not being able to cook the way he wants or likes. So every day I just say whatever you want to cook. I have a lot of cleaning up to do (he does try), but at least I'm not cooking.
I hope I do not come across as a whiner or complainer. The weather did not help my frame of mind as it rained almost every day. I am so blessed and grateful for all I have and those in my life. But sometimes it's the straw that broke the camel's back and I just blow. As someone who was raised to hide her emotions, it's not easy to control them sometimes. When I get angry or upset - sometimes I can't get the words out vocally and I can feel myself holding back the emotions. Usually at that point, I have to walk away until I can pull it together. How do you handle your emotions and stress? I can help others, but sometimes I can't help myself.
I did not get any reading done although I carried a book everywhere I went. I caught up on a couple of DVR'd movies/shows this past week. I watched: "The Great War: American Experience" A 3 part documentary on PBS about America's entry into World War I. Lots of history with many aspects that were unknown to me.
I am going to leave it here for today. Still need to get a few things done. I hope you have a good week. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me." - Carol Burnett
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius
"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." - Eleanor Roosevelt