It was a sad week for many with the mass shootings and hatred that seem to be coming out of everywhere. I am probably one of the few that did not put anything on FB as I tried to digest my feelings of sadness and worry about the world. I actually tried to ignore many of the stories about the gunman himself and focused on the heroes of the situation or the people that were murdered and their lives. I know I was numb for part of the week as I tried to imagine so much hatred. I just can't believe one person could cause so much horribleness. I will not use this forum for a gun control discussion at all. I have my pros and cons and my beliefs and do not feel it necessary to share them. I was trained many years ago to carry and shoot because I was working in a war zone situation. I hated carrying a weapon all of the time although I understood the necessity. Could I have killed someone if it was a life/death situation? Honestly, I don't know. Simulations are one thing, real life is another thing. I remember on more than one occasion at work it's a good thing I don't have a weapon, but it was more of a joke in the moment. I truly can not imagine having that much hatred for someone else or others as a whole. Believe me I am not a saint and have been through some traumas of my own, but I learned to forgive for many reasons and mostly my own sanity.
I have also been soul searching this week about words and how they can truly hurt someone. Some times in moments of emotional distress we spout out words that we don't mean, but they can really hurt others. When I was younger I was EXTREMELY sarcastic and never realized how some of my sarcasm really hurt others. When I had that epiphany I was devastated in many ways and offered some sincere apologies. I also got to understand how my sarcasm was a way to cover up some of my own fears and vulnerabilities. I have worked hard at not being sarcastic or if I am to not hurt others. I bring this up as my mother/mema called me a few names this past week and although I know it's the disease talking it still hurt a little. Also, many of the patients at the nursing home do not have filters any longer so some of the language gets a bit rough some days. You have to have thick skin to be around some of these patients. Some of the patients say, well I'm being honest as they don't realize they are actually hurting someone else. Some of the younger workers get offended sometimes and try to correct the behaviors, but it's hard to not take it personally and I talk to the staff daily about it. Again, not to be political, but I can't stand the words coming out of the mouths of politicians. I feel such anger and animosity coming out of their mouths. I am sick of the BS when it comes to politics - stop spreading hatred!
To change subjects....I had an energy massage this week. OMG! I have never had that type of experience. One massage therapist and one energy healer...what an experience! Stones were places and they literally popped off. I did not go to sleep at all, but felt fantastic when it was done. I was told my energy is huge - like standing at the edge of the ocean and seeing forever. I said that's funny as I go to the water almost every day and just look out. As I was on the table the energy person asked me if I have visions? I said no, but sometimes my mom called me a witch as I would do or say something and then something else would happen. She said, "you have visions!" I was also told the message from my angel was: To wait for the miracle to happen." I'm not sure what that means, but I've tried to take a step back and see what happens. I enjoyed it so much I'm going back in July! Have you ever had this type of experience?
I finished reading: "ALL FALL DOWN" by Jennier Weiner. It's about a woman who gets hooked on prescription medicines and how it impacts her life. It's an interesting story and so relates to everything I have been watching on TV about opioid addiction. I also read through several magazines and caught up on several newspapers. At the nursing home and coffee shop they are always laughing at me as I have a book or something to read every day. What are you reading? I have lists and lists that I am more than willing to add to if you have any suggestions.
A belated Happy Birthday to my friend Diane! I hope she had a fantastic day celebrating this past week.
I am going to leave it here for tonight. I hope you have a great week. Please let me know if there is ever a topic that you would like me to discuss and I'll see what I can do. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy
"It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure." - Joseph Campbell
Referrals are always appreciated.