I must admit as I sit hear waiting for dawn (and truly the darkest hour is just before dawn - old song lyric) that I spent most of the night tossing and turning. I realized as I headed to bed that I completely forgot to take my dad for some medical testing yesterday. I was racked with guilt about how could I forget and some other name calling. Then this morning I realized that although I forgot the appointment my dad and I created some memories (see below stories) so I'll reschedule the tests tomorrow. Do you have negative self talk? How do you turn it around?
I have to say Happy 81st Birthday to my dad today! We will be celebrating with dinner and cake with my mom at the nursing home. My sister and her family will be there to celebrate. Hopefully, we will take a few pictures.
Something to make you laugh. Saturday my dad comes out of his TV room looking for me. I literally had just walked into the bedroom closet and kicked off my shoes. I come out and he's standing there. He says to me: how would like to drive me to the mall and we can have a cup of coffee at Dunk's? I must have just looked at him funny because suddenly he said, I feel like I need to go to the mall. I said ok papa. He said go put your shoes on and we can go, you can drive the truck to turn the engine over. We departed and he told me where to park so he can go to Radio Shack. He said after Radio Shack we can drive around to the other side of the mall for coffee. He also mentioned a dog and says you don't know how the house is when you are not here. (Ok I almost cried, but still not sure a dog is the right thing.) We walked into the mall and what is right there - yes the county pound. He says what's in that corner? I said the pound and his eyes lit up. I thought to myself you knew exactly what part of the mall we were walking into you sneak (LOL). We wandered in, but all they had were cats because the dogs are all fostered - they don't want to leave them in a store in the mall. I was kind of happy I must admit as I thought we would have walked out of here with a dog. As we walked away my dad said what types of dogs were fostered (they had pictures up but he could not see them)? I said they had a lab mix and he said that's a nice big dog. I said papa the dog is only eight months old and will need a lot of time outdoors for running and such, not sure you are up to that. He agreed and said maybe I just need an old hound dog to which I agreed. I think that is settled for now, but I'm thinking when I come back in December there might be a dog hanging out here. Hopefully, my sister will warn me in advance. (LOL!) He originally wanted after Radio Shack to drive around the mall to Dunks, but I said no let's do a little walking, you need to do some walking. I can't say he was very fond of me at that point, but did walk. Then we sat and drank coffee while he played keno for a few games. He won a little bit of money so that made him happy. Of course we then had to walk back through the mall to the car. I said now, you can go home and take a nap and he agreed...LOL! He may drive me crazy at times, but he also makes me laugh. New memories every day for which I'm grateful. I hope you are gathering funny stories as well.
Another funny: Two people this week thought my dad was either my husband or significant other. When I say, NO he's my dad!; they get all embarrassed. We usually have a good laugh. I say, I just look old, but to be honest, my dad does not look 81.
Here in New England we had a Nor'Easter this past week. I always thought that meant snow storm, but I learned that it can also mean rain. And, boy did it rain and the wind howl (for days). The wind was so strong the other night that all I kept hearing were the noises of the house and the tree outside. I kept thinking when I got up in the morning that the tree would be down and the siding would be missing. I have to say and I mentioned previously that the people at the nursing home are also impacted by the weather. Literally, when you walk onto the floor you can feel a different energy, quite a few patients were having behavioral issues. I am grateful that the staff cares about the residents as I know it's not the most glamorous of jobs. They are grateful for any form of appreciation - the other day I brought it blueberry cake from the grocery store bakery. They were excited as I said thank you. I said, I don't bake, but I know how to buy! I just wanted them to know that I see how they hard they work.
I completed a lot of reading this past week. My mom remembered I carry a book everywhere so the other day when she wanted to snooze a little she looked at me and said, you can read your book. I finished: "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman. Yes, this is the book that they created the movie from. I did not see the movie, but it is a beautifully written book about a young girl that is in a serious car accident with her family. She is between life and death and her experiences in that stage. I finished: "Big Russ & Me" by Tim Russert with a new preface by Luke Russert. What a great book about the lessons he learned from his father. Some of his stories reminded me of my own family. I finished last night:
"The Mountaintop School for Dogs and Other Second Chances" by Ellen Cooney. What a great book about a dog rescue sanctuary and the people involved. It's not only the dogs that are transformed. What are you reading?
This will be my last week in Plymouth for a month and I have a few things to get done. Insurance paperwork is still being gathered. I just can't believe how long it takes. I am glad that the nursing home liaison is helping me through this maze, but just to get things in order takes forever. It is definitely frustrating for me and as many know when I get frustrated its not pretty. I have been practicing patience, but some days are harder than others. Do you have things that test your patience? How do you handle those frustrating times?
I've started doing a little bit of Xmas shopping - it's so easy to point and click on the computer. I have some orders going to Virginia and some orders going to Plymouth so I don't have to transport. Have you started shopping? Are you getting anxious about the holidays? The Hallmark channel starts their countdown to Xmas next Saturday with the holiday movies. I've also started filling up my November calendar while in Virginia as I have lots to get done there as well.
I am going to end it here for today. I hope you have a good week. Take care - chat soon. Marie
"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results." Wade Boggs
"Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come. Share these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and build from the past, which can bridge to the future." Mattie Stepanek
I leave you with a poem by John O'Donohue that expresses beautifully my wish for each and every one of you.
May you recognize in your life the presence,
power, and light of your soul.
May you realize that you are never alone,
That your soul in its brightness and belonging
Connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe
May you have respect for your individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,
That you have a special destiny here,
And that behind the façade of your life
There is something beautiful and eternal happening.
May you learn to see yourself
With the same delight, pride, and expectation
with which God sees you in every moment.
Referrals are always appreciated.