In the past 35 years I can count on one hand the number of times that I have NOT cooked all or part of Thanksgiving dinner. I normally love the entire process and we celebrated Friendsgiving long before it was a popular thing to do. So much food and so many people - it was always fun. When I think of the people that passed through my life over the years...WOW! Well, this year I am NOT cooking a damn thing. I have already paid the nursing home to have dinner with my mom. They have a huge dinner for all the residents and guests are invited. I would go to visit my mom and other residents any way so I decided to eat there as well. I have to admit I am just not in the mood to cook as I am bone tired. I am blessed to have friends that invited me to dinner, but this year I feel the need to be with my mom. I hope you are doing something that makes you happy.
Quite a few accomplishments this past week. I planned a February vacation with my youngest nephew. I donated the last of papa's clothing and started organizing one of the pantries (Papa had every kitchen gadget known to man if not more than one version). I even made dinner almost every day for myself. I had some great walks with Lady and went door-to-door as I delivered Santa breakfast announcements. The door-to-door can be fun and tiring at the same time...too much peopling...LOL! I had some ideas about some community events, but I need to flush them out a bit more before presenting to Friendship Club.
My mom was always an emotional person. I did not always understand it and in many ways considered it a weakness (not sure why). I remember on several occasions when I called home and asked my mom how she was and she would say: "Oh I'm having a weepy day." Again, I did not understand, but I think I understand now. I find myself having those moments and hours. I don't need to watch a Hallmark movie to bring out the tears. I understand part of me is mourning, but wow, I just did not expect it. Of course, I won't do it in front of others - as I need to be strong for all. Sometimes, I just sit and hold my mom's hand and tears will fall.
Saturday was not a good day for me. I cooked tons of food as I expected my brother-in-law and a friend to fix a piece of siding that's been waiting for them for two years. Also the kids were expected. Well, I waited almost all day and not a word. So I went off to visit my mom - yes I shed a few tears Came home bagged up all the food and it will be waiting for them as a to-go box if/when they show up. I knew in my head that I should have gone to the town parade and participated in several events, but I waited for them. So angry and disappointed at the lack of consideration - not a phone call or text. In the overall scheme of things, I know this is nothing to hold in my heart, but I need a day or two before I get settled down. I love them, just don't have to like them at the moment. (I did not feel like talking on phone last night Patti sorry I did not respond to your text.) Do you ever feel like this about the people in your life? How do you handle it? I need to have space before I can see them - how about you?
Besides watching way too many Christmas movies already this season - I watched two movies today: Hidden Figures - excellent movie about three African American female mathematicians at NASA. I also watched a documentary: A Girl In The River: The Price of Forgiveness - sad in so many ways about an 18 year old Pakistani girl who was targeted for death by her family but survived.
Two big birthday shout outs this week: My nephew Shamus (what a man you have become) and my dear friend Melanie (one of these days we'll get together).
I am thankful for all of you who take the time to read this blog. You have provided me with support in so many ways. I try to be thankful or count my blessings every day, yet at this time of year it seems to be brought forward even more.
I am going to leave it here for today. I hope you have a good week - Happy Thanksgiving! Take care. Chat soon. Marie
Thanksgiving Song (makes a wonderful prayer!)"Grateful for each hand we hold
Gathered round this table.
From far and near we travel home,
Blessed that we are able.
Grateful for this sheltered place
With light in every window,
Saying welcome, welcome, share this feast
Come in away from sorrow.
Father, mother, daughter, son,
Neighbor, friend and friendless;
All together everyone in the gift of loving-kindness.
Grateful for whats understood,
And all that is forgiven;
We try so hard to be good,
To lead a life worth living.
Father, mother, daughter, son,
Neighbor, friend, and friendless;
All together everyone, let grateful days be endless.
Grateful for each hand we hold
Gathered round this table."
- Mary Chapin Carpenter - Thanksgiving Song Lyrics