I must admit rain makes me tired. Not sure about you, but I have been tired all day. I did not walk this morning so perhaps not having the exercise is also what has made me tired. I am feeling a bit sad today as well. I think it's a combination of things that I will address a little at a time below. Does the weather impact your energy and emotions as it does mine?
Of course, the tv is all about Robin Williams. It made me very sad to hear about his passing. I thought of the body of work that he has done and his ability to always make people laugh and smile. He was able to lift up so many people. I am not an expert on mental health and I really don't understand when someone takes their own life. I am sorry for his family and those he left behind. I remember when I was much younger and people whispered about depression and it always came across as something never to be talked about. I know I get sad for a day or two, but then it normally works itself out. I have heard lots of discussions on tv, restaurants and at the hospital about depression and suicide. All I can say is he must have been so tortured inside that no one really knew. He was always open about his issues with addictions and depression and he did seek help. Perhaps there is good that will come out of his death in that more and more people are talking, writing, discussing depression and people seem to be reaching out. If you know someone that appears to be depressed reach out as soon as possible.
My other thoughts surrounded the fact that I have been here in Plymouth for about six weeks and have not seen or hung out with any friends. This is the longest I have been here without seeing a friend or two. I know I have been busy and they have too with families and summer vacations, but I realized I miss them. I talk to my BFF every day via phone and a few others from Virginia often, but it's just not the same as being in the room.
One last thought, as many of you know I have been at the hospital every day for almost six weeks. It's funny in that I believe half the patients in the unit where my mom is located all know me. Some actually think I work there so when I go to leave the lounge area where most gather for meals, they will ask if I'm coming back. I usually help a little at snack or meal time with arranging people at tables or setting up the wheelchairs and such. I think what is sad most days as that I see my dad and I there for my mom and one other woman that is there for her husband every day. Several other people have Comfort Keepers come in every day to sit while they eat or just to talk to them. Most people do not have any one visiting them and it really hurts my heart. My mother is very quiet most of the time as she is not talking much, but she does observe (now I know where I got that trait!), but others have me as a new face to tell stories to and I am extremely attentive to them.
I finished "Eating Heaven" by Jennie Shortridge. Interesting book about a woman who has food issues and dealing with life, but she is a food writer. It has funny and sad parts, but overall a good read.
I advised my father this morning that I will go back to Virginia at the end of the month and he immediately got watery eyes, which surprised me. He said you need to live your life. I said dad I will be back in a couple of weeks. He said you need your life in Virginia. I said dad I want to be here for you and mom. He said ok that will be good. But I could almost feel relief in his voice. I told him I would have everything arranged here for him while I'm gone. It's so funny because this afternoon he said, did you call about the rides I will need? I said not yet. He said I thought you said you were going to call. I said dad I still have time to make arrangements and he then calmed down.
For my sanity I need to go to Virginia for a couple of weeks. I thought about it long and hard. I already told my BFF that the day after I get home we will be having lunch at my favorite restaurant (Plaza Azteca here I come). I also can't wait to see my personal trainer for a couple of weeks so he can kick my butt into gear. Of course it goes without saying that I'll fit in acupuncture and chiropractic appointments - boy do I need both! Hopefully my walking partner will be around so we can get in some practice. Of course, I am torn as I want to be here and I want to be there. But I am no different than anyone else dealing with these type of issues. How do you handle being torn in two directions?
Well that's been my week so far. I hear the rain pounding on the roof. I bet in the morning the sun will be out and I'll feel 100% energy flowing. I hope you have a good rest of the week. Let me know if I can coach you in any way. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
"The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Bertrand Russell
"Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future." - Deepak Chopra