In the past, there have always been several people around to do the shoveling/clear driveways/etc. This year I did not see anyone so I'm worked slowly, but surely and the 82 year old neighbor comes across with his snowblower to clean out the cars. He told me he did not want me to have a heart attack and that I was a damsel in distress so he helped me out. (This from a man who has had at least three heart attacks.) I told him boys were on the way, but he wanted to help. This man always thinks of my dad and helps him out. He also has about eight driveways (almost all women) that he helps out. I'm picking up a gift card tomorrow at his favorite restaurant to thank him. The boys did arrive and widened the path out back and created a path on the service road to the street so I can pull a car around if needed to pick up papa. Don't worry I fed the boys lunch and dessert before they left.
It was a sad week for me and papa as mema has moved toward her final journey. She has almost stopped eating and is cranky if you try to get her to eat. The disease for many takes away the ability to chew and swallow food (its like a forgotten skill) so she has been changed to puree food and is not too happy about it. When she is up and awake she is watching everything around her as normal. It's funny though that she loves to chomp on ice cubes and if it keeps her hydrated then I'm all for it. As I've said previously all I pray for is that she has no pain as she continues her journey. Papa was upset the other day when I told him I spoke to hospice and we agree that this is what's happening. He said to me, "I did not want to say that." I said I understand. I feel as long as she continues to go to the hairdresser on Tuesdays she is in a good place. We'll keep making memories and I'll try to take a few pics now and then to capture the moments.
Had a wonderful visit with my niece this weekend. She decided to come visit Friday night and now that she can drive she came on her own. Although the weather did not cooperate we had a nice quiet visit. I think she came for the quiet and the ability to nap (lol). She is getting better about picking up after herself so her visits are a bit easier for both of us. I even made my first frittata this morning since we ate breakfast at home with papa. I believe papa is excited that she is visiting on her own.
I need to focus this coming week on taxes for both businesses. Thank goodness in many ways that my customer base has shrunk so much. I need to take the time to put everything together and file the appropriate forms. This is the only part of business that sometimes drives me a little crazy - especially since the past year I was not even focused on business most of the time. Oh well, the cost of doing business.
Sometimes I have to admit I get so jealous when I hear people planning vacations and events. I know it's not right as life moves on for others, but I do get jealous when it appears many are oblivious to what happens in my life. I'm barely had time away in a year and yet some are planning their fourth or fifth vacation....boy must be nice. I know this does not make sense to many of you, but it is something that I feel. I understand that the world can not stop just because I'm a caregiver yet there are times when I need a break afterall I'm only human. It is what it is and life moves on. I felt myself get cranky with papa the other day, but I think it's the change in mema's status that really upset me. I'm ok and will continue on, as once I get it out in the open I'm usually good. I apologize to those friends that have reached out and I have not been able to get back to you. Please know that I'm good and have a new chiropractor appt this week which will help with the body aches and a massage the following week which will definitely help with the energy levels. Working on taking small breaks that will keep me balanced.
I did not finish any books this past week although I'm reading two. What are you reading? I keep adding to the list of books I want to read, but need to get through the pile I have...LOL!
I am going to leave it here for today. I hope you have a good week. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
"I hear what I need to hear when I take a moment to listen to silence within me." - Written in 2014 by Lou Rivera --- New Jersey
"There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections." - Author Unknown
"Yesterday has been washed away by the sea of time but today is pliable to our thoughts, today is moldable to our will, today will surely determine tomorrow." - Written in 2014 by Olateju Rahman --- Nigeria