For those of you that follow me personally on FB, you know that it's been a rough week for my family. Early Tuesday morning, my mother (mema) had a heart attack. It was not fatal, but definitely scared all of us. We were advised that only 30% of her heart is functioning and with her other health issues and the medical directives in place it's only a matter of time. As her doctor said, it could be today or she could outlive us all. I can't say enough about her care in the hospital. Although the hospital was overcrowded, the area we were in was fairly quiet. My sister spent the overnight hours and my dad and I spent many day/evening hours. She was moved back to the nursing home and I could see how that alone took a toll on her. My struggle as a daughter is between my heart and my head. I know many of you have been through similar struggles, so you understand how it hurts. Do we bring her home so she is in familiar surroundings and hire 24/7 care? Do we leave her where she is familiar right now and has good people looking after her? Logically I know the answers...Emotionally I want to wrap my arms around her and just hold on. Thank goodness my sister and I are on the same page and hold each other up as needed. I am so blessed to have family and friends to hold me up. I hope when you have struggles you have someone to hold you up as well.
I have been doing a lot of comfort eating - not huge portions just not the right stuff. I know that's what I'm doing and yet I can't seem to stop. I have not been working out either. I seem to be burning the candle at both ends so to speak so I'm exhausted. Thank goodness for coffee! What do you do to get yourself through the stressful times?
I was at the nursing home yesterday and was in the dining room helping with this or that when one of the staff said - you want a job? we need people like you. I said thanks, but I have other things to deal with at the moment. Not to toot my own horn, but some of the other patients family members have turned to me for advice and guidance as we all walk through Alzheimer issues. One daughter asked for my phone number so she can call me as needed. I am more than willing to be that person/coach as needed. Also, it helps me in helping them.
I have been spending my time counting my blessings, praying, and keeping an eye on my dad/papa. He is better now that she's out of the hospital and truly wants to bring her home. He understands the dilemma of her care, but his heart is broken. He has been struggling to be strong for her. He wants to hold her hand and snuggle which is hard to do in a hospital bed. This breaks my heart as well.
I am going to leave it here for today. I hope you have a good week. Remember to create memories for yourself and others. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
"There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul." Arnold Bennett
"Making hard decisions is easier when you are optimistic and when your decisions are based on value." Dr Anil Kumar Sinha
“Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right.” Max Lucado
Referrals are always appreciated.