My thoughts and prayers are with those in Texas going through this horrible storm.
The good news from the past week is that the satellite TV is up and running again...YEAH! The new receiver fixed everything. Of course, I'm missing a few shows here and there, but I'll catch up. Papa kept saying wish that new box would get here so when it appeared I started setting up everything right away (as he was taking a nap). Of course, the one TV that took the longest was his, but I finally got it after a phone call to have things reset.
I told someone the other day that I feel my life is running around laundry these days. As a single woman I normally do laundry every other week or so and then do it all in one day. For the past few weeks, I have done at least a load a day. Since I started doing all of mema's laundry and took over papa's laundry..phew the machines are getting a workout. There is a normalcy and routine for me in getting the laundry done/folded/put away. I think nothing of doing laundry at night and starting the dryer before I head to bed. Then when I walk Lady in the morning I restart the dryer to finish it off. I was kidding about the laundry the other day and then I read a book where the author devoted a chapter to laundry and how to make laundry soap - I have to say I almost laughed out loud as I read it. (No worries, I'll never make my own soap.)
I went to group meditation the other night and it was amazing. (A big should out to my niece Melanie who came to stay with papa so I could take the break.) There were only a couple of us so I was not sure about the energy level, but I should not have given it a thought. I normally have trouble seeing colors as we go through the steps and the other night I saw a rainbow and it was beautiful. It's also amazing to realize who pops into my head when I turn off the too many thoughts up there. I hope some day you get to participate in this type of experience.
Some Sundays I'm not sure what to write. Do I write about how hard the week was emotionally (believe me it was)? Or, do I write about how I have problems giving trust again once it's gone. Or, do I write about how I have lots of memories of childhood (good and bad) that I can't always let go. Let me say, I have put plenty of the baggage I carried in it's place, but there are a few things I have not been able to let go of. I believe I am an honorable person in many ways, I hurt when someone I love hurts. I may not always forgive as easily, as others, but that's when the hurt runs deep. I am better than I was in the past about putting perspective on things - perhaps that happens with maturity. Trust, on the other hand, once broken is so hard to give again. Does any of this resonate with you?
Sometimes, I have to admit I get way too much into my head (reason for meditation). I realize my culture, my heritage, my experiences, my past, my adventures, etc. make me the person I am today...no regrets - warts and all as the saying goes. I am not perfect and I work on learning something new every day and improving myself in some way. I can't remember if I mentioned in the past, but I start my morning with a crossword puzzle and end it with a crossword or word search puzzle as a way to keep my mind working (believe me some days easier than others).
This past week (without TV for part of it) I was able to get some reading done. "MAGIC" by Tammi Hoag (an older paperback) fun story involving love and spirits. "FAMILY TREE" by Barbara Delinsky (another older paperback) interesting novel about family and crisis. "AT HOME IN THIS LIFE" by Jerusalem Jackson Greer an interesting perspective about finding peace at the crossroads of unraveled dreams & beautiful surprises.
I am going to leave it here for today. Thank you to those who continue to reach out with cards, emails, and phone calls. I so appreciate hearing from you although I have not much of an opportunity to correspond back, please know I'm thinking about you and holding a space in my heart. I hope you have a good week. Take care. Chat soon. Marie
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” - ― Brené Brown
“What we know matters but who we are matters more.” - ― Brené Brown,
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.” - ― Brené Brown,